At Cornell University in New York, one graduate remembered how halfway through "Hell Week" — an arduous ritual of breaking in new members — fraternity brothers brought in a stripper "just to remind us that they didn't completely hate us." At one of those parties, he recalled seeing one stripper paid to have sex with a new recruit in front of the entire pledge class. The rate she charged for oral sex was $50.
"You need a kind of traumatic experience to make you tough enough to do this work," she [ stripper/college student] said. "It's not an easy business."
I find it interesting that the men actively involved in stripping (if you're a customer, you are involved) are seen as making acceptable choices while women involved in stripping are seen as making unacceptable choices.
And what if that new recruit didn't want to have sex, but felt he had no choice under the circumstances? I believe that's a form of sexual abuse. If you're a parent of a son, do you want to send him into an environment where he feels he has no choice?
College boys aren't condemned when they add new layers of trauma to strippers or to the men around them who feel powerless to stop behavior that disgusts them. When successful men (in life or on the field) step over the line into criminal behavior, too many men and women resist labeling them as criminals.
If you are truly against rape, then blame the rapist, not the rape victim. No buts allowed.
If you ever blame the rape victim, even partially, you are NOT completely against rape.
"She just went to the cops because we had rougher sex than she expected," is the rapist's way of saying, "She went to the cops because I raped her. But don't worry about me, she won't get justice because it's my word against hers."
One study of sexual assault cases found that while male student athletes make up 3.3 percent of the college population, they committed 19 percent of the sexual assaults. The Benedict-Crosset Study of sexual assaults at 30 major Division I universities over a three-year period in the 1990s concludes that "male college student athletes, compared to the rest of the male population, are responsible for a significantly higher percentage of sexual assaults reported to judicial affairs on the campuses of Division I institutions."If the strongest and the most competitive of our young men are allowed or even expected to treat women horribly, what message does that send to less powerful men who fantasize about hurting women? Some of these men may not have the money to act out against strippers and get away with it, they may have to find other, more respectable targets.
If you change the target and the method of gaining access, this behavior doesn't sound so harmless anymore, does it?
It sounds like real violence against women.
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