Sunday, June 18, 2006

Father’s Rights and Men’s Rights Groups Understand Anti-Judge Violence

Unfortunately, they seem to understand it only in the sense that they empathize with men who commit assault and murder. Just like in many rape cases, it's the victims who should be blamed.

Trish Wilson

Some of you may have heard the story about a fathers' rights advocate Darren Mack, who had stabbed his wife to death and shot the judge who heard his case. The judge lived. This guy is now at large. Well, fathers' rights groups got wind of the story, and they are excusing this guy's behavior. They blame "the system" for what this guy has done. This is nothing new for these guys. They already blame "the system", feminists, and ex-wives when dads commit suicide. What they usually keep quiet is that they also blame "the system" et al when dads murder their wives and children.

(links in quote added by me)

Even when these men sound bloodthirsty and dangerous to all those unlucky enough to be stuck near them, they can't understand why any sensible judge would rule against "good" fathers like them.

Each time I hear from men like these, I appreciate my own father and my grandfathers so much more. I grew up assuming most fathers were as caring as these men were.

The roughest man I knew in my family was an uncle who loved to bicker with his wife (my father's sister who when she was a child would sit on a horse's back for hours so my father wouldn't ride 'her' horse). The bickering was never mean spirited and suited my aunt's personality perfectly.

My dad wasn't perfect. For example, he didn't tell his sister that walking where he needed to go on the homestead was easier than getting the horse -- so her sitting on that horse for hours didn't bother my dad at all. I'm not sure he ever told her that however.

With my family history, I didn't question what type of father my first husband was and believed every word that came out of his mouth about his "horrid" first wife who after being unfaithful, abandoned him and their young daughter to move in with her lover. I even understood why he could have been mad enough to hurt her after she betrayed him.

I just realized it but it was my own history of being betrayed (raped) and that fury that bubbled inside of me afterwards that contibuted to my belief that this man was my soulmate. I saw parallels that were mostly illusion and delusion.

It was only as our marriage was ending that I learned his first wife ran for her life when she moved about 2000 miles and one country away. I believe it was fear that made her leave her daughter behind. Looking back, he seemed to be trying to convince himself as much as he was trying to convince me.

Thankfully, when I needed a place to go when my marriage was imploding (my fault of course according to my then-husband), my father was there for me without hesitation or recriminations.

Any men's group that "understands" murder and attempted murder so easily shouldn't be called a men's rights or a father's rights group since that makes it seem like all men and all fathers are like them when nothing could be further from the truth. They should be called male domination and father domination groups. When they talk about wives and children as if they are property that was seized illegally through the evil courts, they reveal that they were one of the true sources of their family problems.

Redstatefeminist quotes from comments about recent attacks on judges, including this one:

God will deal with those which have ruined a wonderful relationship I had and killed it…It looks like it’s open season on judges and attorneys and/or anyone else who takes children from two fit parents and gives only to one parent “solely”
The man who wrote this comment sounds like an abusive spouse who had everything he wanted (mastered his universe through intimidation and possibly violence) until someone helped his wife and children get out alive. I doubt the relationship was wonderful for anyone except him.

This support for "Godly" violence is exactly what people like Ann Coulter are fostering through their demonization of entire groups of people. Anytime people say that activist judges or other law abiding citizens are endangering our society, they are feeding the rationalization of men like this. I made the mistake of doing that once and it's a mistake I'll never make again.

I'm very careful about what I say about those I stand in opposition to. The last thing I want to turn into is a female version of these men who glory in the death of those they see as oppressors or evil.

My father taught me better than that.

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posted by Marcella Chester @ 12:09 AM   2 comments links to this post

2 Comments:

At June 19, 2006 2:50 PM, Blogger Txfeminist said...

"This support for "Godly" violence is exactly what people like Ann Coulter are fostering through their demonization of entire groups of people. Anytime people say that activist judges or other law abiding citizens are endangering our society, they are feeding the rationalization of men like this."

This is such an important connection. Thanks for making it.

 
At June 20, 2006 11:16 AM, Blogger Marcella Chester said...

txfeminist, you are welcome. There is nothing scarier than those who think their brand of hatred and terrorism are sanctified by God.

 

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