Friday, June 09, 2006

What sanctity of marriage?

This question first came to me a few months after I escaped a violent marriage and after hearing some Christian leaders say that women like me should have stayed even if it cost us our lives because, "We would get our reward in heaven."

Getting out was the greater sin than the actions I was escaping.

A few months after my divorce was final and while still in emotional and spiritual turmoil, I moved to Denver and attended the closest church (of my denomination) where I met openly gay men for the first time. Ironically, of the men I knew in Denver these openly gay men posed the least danger to me.

Again according to many in the church they were committing greater sins than my ex-husband and other violent spouses.

The stratification of sin and danger became overt for the first time in my life. Because these men were gay and not interested in repenting their sin, I was supposed to see them as more dangerous than my heterosexual, Christian ex-husband or any heterosexual. I certainly wasn't supposed to see them as real Christians. I wasn't supposed to notice that some of their committed relationships were far healthier emotionally than my marriage.

And for the first time I heard the phrase, "Just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean they really aren't out to get you."

They saw those out to purge the world of their sexual perversity as dangerous. At the time I didn't think they were targeted. I thought there was simply a rift in how to interpret certain Bible passages. Persecution was something that had ended centuries before.

This was long before the first ban of same sex marriage was put on the ballot of any state. As I've blogged about before Ohio's ban forbidding giving any rights similar to marital rights removed gays and heterosexual boyfriends and girlfriends from coverage under domestic violence laws.

Since many conservatives, as I discovered, view women who escape marriage as destroyers of marriage, protecting my life is a low priority for many who support the full intent on the so-called sanctity of marriage amendments. And if that's so protecting the life of heterosexual women living "in sin" is an even lower priority.

As time has gone by any homophobia I had has faded, but my holy-phobia has remained strong. People who say they know God's will in one breath and say that anyone who questions them is going to hell in the next breath, continue to scare me.

It's what people will do to others in the name of God that keeps my holy-phobia going strong.

I feel sorry for conservatives who are manipulated into greater levels of homophobia by politicians who use their ignorance and their fear to keep them voting along party lines and to keep them from looking at what else the Republicans are doing that goes against their beliefs and their interests.

I remember hearing one propaganda expert say it's like shooting fish in a barrel.

I also remember a conservative Christian say the Republicans promised to take care of their other concerns but hadn't yet because those concerns were a lower priority than banning gay marriage and making abortion illegal in all 50 states. They don't see the flaw in the argument that everything they care about but gay marriage and abortion must be put on the back burner. The Republicans didn't put tax cuts for the rich on the back burner and neither have they put corporate interests on the back burner.

The truth is what you back burner you don't want to do and citing more urgent threats is nothing more than an excuse.

That makes the following no surprise at all:
Newsweek: Bush "doesn't give a shit" about constitutional amendment banning gay marriage

After the senate vote failed to get enough votes, I heard a Republican speaking to the "faithful" and telling them this was another reason they had to vote Republican.

Manipulation, plain and simple. But moral?

I don't think so.

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posted by Marcella Chester @ 3:56 PM   1 comments links to this post


At June 10, 2006 2:45 AM, Blogger Sly Civilian said...

"after hearing some Christian leaders say that women like me should have stayed even if it cost us our lives because, "We would get our reward in heaven."

This makes me so angry to hear...i know that shit gets said from the pulpit every sunday...but it hurts to realize that the situation is this critical...that my church is harming people like that.


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