Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Boys Guide To Unsatisfying Sex -- Go For The Goal

In my earlier post, Teen Boys Still Feel Good About Pressuring Girls To Have Sex I focused on the advice given to girls about what to say when they are pressured to have sex. Now I want to focus on the boys willing to put girls in this defensive position.

By taking a purely goal-oriented approach to sex, boys (and men) may win a skirmish and possibly the admiration of other game players, but this approach produces hollow results.

Okay, boys, imagine taking the same approach to food that a girl can offer you.

Instead of waiting until you both can freely share a meal large enough for two and that leaves both of you satisfied, you do everything and anything you can to get her food away from her as quickly as you can. Depending on your opinion of her and whether anyone will know what you've done, you might knock her over, grab her food and run.

The how doesn't matter. All the matters is reducing the time from setting a specific goal to obtaining that goal. Once you get food from her you've attained your goal and need a repeat of that success.

Maybe you want to reach that same goal from the same girl, but for some unknown reason she tells you she'd rather be run over by a school bus. Or now the girl may expect you to live up to the promises you made enroute to your goal. Or now the girl may want you to spend time with her when there's no chance of a meal.

Meanwhile some other boy is beating your numbers. He's getting meals even when he isn't hungry.

Either from your choice or hers, there will be no more meals with the girl who was present when you made your last goal.

Now you need to prove that this one success wasn't a fluke and you look for the next likely target, who views you with suspicion and won't let you near her lunch. So you turn on the charm until she believes you are with her simply because you like her. If she asks if you are after her food, you either tell her no or distract her so she won't realize you've avoided her question.

If this goal looks impossible, you cut your losses and move on to the next goal.

You may get food this way, but you'll never get satisfied. The easy excuse for this is to blame the girls for holding out on you or for bitching about your tactics, maybe even accusing you of theft. To top it off their food wasn't all the good.

But you're the one who bought into the myth that this was the right approach to girls and food. Your buddies who told you that you were doing everything right might support you if the cops come knocking on your door, but you can only hope that you get a cop who will wink at your harmless misdeads.

You may never know that respecting girls and their food can lead to meals you've never even imagined. Other boys and men may not beat your best time or even your worst time from target to meal, but they know that making girls and food into nothing more than a game is the surest way to lose in the long run.

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posted by Marcella Chester @ 11:57 AM   0 comments links to this post

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