Wednesday, September 20, 2006

What Men Do That Encourages Women To Lie About Rape

Whenever I hear a man say that women lie about being raped (usually to deny or minimize the reality of rape), that lie (all they need is one) is always an indication about the basic moral corruptness of women. In these scenarios men are always completely innocent victims of this big lie.

But is that the reality?

Or are there situations where men set women up to lie about being raped?

Here's one scenario where men (and some women possibly) set a woman up so she could have gotten what she needed, and had the legal right to get, by lying to meet men's criteria. She didn't lie and suffered because of her honesty.

Biting Beaver

... and then he [nurse] says, "Well I called the pharmacy to ask them because I had heard that it was going over the counter. They told me that they won't sell it til the first of the year" I finished the sentence with him and explained that I had called the pharmacy first thing this morning and was told the very same thing. "Well see," he begins, his voice dropping a little, "the problem is that you have to meet the doctor's criteria before he'll dispense it to you."

"Criteria?" I question.

"Well," the nurse sounds decidedly nervous as though what he really wanted to do was hang up the phone completely, "Yes, his criteria. I mean...ummm...well, are you ok? Is there any, ummm....trauma?" he asks me.

My face changes expression and I hurry to explain, "No, no" I said, "No. I haven't been raped. This was consensual sex."

"Oh..." he trails off. I wait expectantly. "Well, ummm....*clears throat*...So you haven't been raped?" he asks again.

"No. I have not been raped. The condom broke". I state, becoming very frustrated at this point and wondering what the hell is going on.

"Ok, well ummm....Are you married?" he mumbles the words so low I can barely hear them. Suddenly I get this image of the poor nurse standing at the hospital reading from a cue card that was given to him by a doctor.

This male nurse, possibly out of a desire to help her get emergency contraception, is asking leading questions with the easy answer (for him) being a lie. This scenario isn't unique to this one facility as the rest of this post illustrates.


I have been asked about my sexual practices. Whether I'm 'monogamous' or 'in a relationship' if I'm married, if I have kids, how many kids I have, if I was raped or 'traumatized' but there wasn't' ONE question about my health. Not one. The few places that said that they had a doctor who would occasionally write prescriptions for EC told me that I had to ask for that doctor specifically and then they proceeded to tell me that I would be 'interviewed' to see if I meet that doctors 'criteria' and then they proceeded to ask me all the above questions before telling me that I should 'try anyway' and I 'might be able to talk him into it'.
Isn't 'Being able to talk him into it' a hint for the woman to make the doctor believe she was raped? The biggest moral failing in this situation belongs to the doctors and those who make doctors afraid to prescribe emergency contraception.

The unpleasant reality here is that the woman is immoral if she doesn't lie and she's immoral if she does lie.

Nicely done.

If you think this situation is fair, imagine a similar line of questioning to determine if a man meets the criteria to get treatment for STDs. Imagine a female nurse asks questions to ensure that a man meets the criteria of contracting diseases only through non-sinful means before recommending he sees a doctor.

"Did you get infected from an unfaithful wife?" ... "Oh, you're not married? Then did some cheap woman get you so drunk you passed out while she had her way with you?" ... "No? Are you sure?" ... "Well, maybe you can find a doctor who can be talked into treating you."

If this happened would anyone blame the man for doing what he had to do to get the treatment he needed?

Now imagine other situations linked by many with sin (violence, etc.) and imagine all nurses and doctors insisting that the patient meet a moral criteria before treatment.

How would a rough-looking young man who's been stabbed meet a moral criteria before treatment? "Yes, I know blood's spurting from that knife wound, but I have to see if you meet the criteria of innocent victim before I can help you. I smell booze on your breath and you can't be old enough to drink legally."

We wouldn't accept a nurse or a doctor judging the patient's morals before deciding whether or not to treat that patient, would we?

I can imagine other criteria-based scenarios besides women concerned about pregnancy, but the reality of the use of moral criteria seems to be absent in other time-sensitive medical treatments.

Criteria dehumanizes the patient and makes the medical professional a surrogate for God's judgment. So why, other than discrimination, do women get treated this way when men don't face similar treatment even when their behavior could be considered to be just as immoral?

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posted by Marcella Chester @ 1:48 PM   0 comments links to this post

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