Sunday, September 03, 2006

What Victims Often Look Like To Strangers

This video has been given the label Possessed Demon Cat, but that label reflects either ignorance or a desire for a catchy title.


The body language and verbalizations may be different, but humans can also respond to perceived threats with behavior that says, "Back off, or else." And just like this cat, many people will see this and instantly pass judgment, as if 24 seconds tells the whole story.

Good people should always be pleasant people -- at least towards us good people.

Those who have been real victims of violence or abuse are supposed to fit the stereotype of true victim. Physically scarred, shaking in fright, etc. If something we do sets a victim/survivor off, the problem must be theirs alone. If we reached out to show we are good people, our disregard, or lack of awareness, of that other person's boundaries becomes their problem not ours. If we hurt them through our jokes, they need to lighten up and get a sense of humor.

There were times after I was raped when I resembled this cat and I looked feral to everyone but my ex-boyfriend/rapist. Each time someone took a decision out of my hands, especially when they did it for my own good, my body was infused with pain.

Just as I had to grow and learn better ways to cope, those who trigger victims or survivors need to find better ways to interact so they don't inflict more hurt on those who have already been wounded. To refuse to do so sends the message loud and clear that our support of victims is 99% PR.

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posted by Marcella Chester @ 11:47 AM   0 comments links to this post


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