Shakesville has a post about a music video called Feigning Interest which is all about a man who pretends to like a woman when the woman is sober and who fakes it in the hopes of using the detested woman's body once that detested woman gets drunk enough for the man to tolerate her and to see a chance to get his hands, and more, on and in her body.
It's the song for men who feel that the reward for pretending to like a woman's personality is "knocking it out." If she (or it) passes out then she (or it) still owes him the payoff for all that feigning of interest.
I'm sure many men laugh in recognition. Been there, done that. Never been charged or convicted. Ain't life grand except for those moments when you're waiting for the chemicals to kick in?
The end of the video is telling, "I'm just kidding ... as far as you know."
This video is a reminder that there are men who like women best when they are inert and not likely to come out of that state until long after the sex is over. If a boy or man thinks this video is funny then no first date for him. Bye-bye, Mr. Inert Lover. There are boys and men out there who would never do anything to you that you don't want, don't enjoy or don't know about.
Ditch the fakers and takers ASAP. Even if they never give into the temptation to rape, their attitudes make them lousy company. Who needs a cardboard cutout of a man who cares for you? If a man doesn't care about you before sex, he certainly won't care about you during sex.
The main character in the video seems like the kind of guy who wouldn't know what to do with a woman he liked as a person. As long as he detests who he's having sex with then it doesn't matter what she thinks of his approach to sex -- if she remembers anything at all.
This video is also a reminder that for too many men, especially those who seem normal, getting a girl or woman to a state of sustained inertness is their goal and not something that happens coincidentally.
For those who dismiss anyone who is concerned about the attitudes behind the jokes told by a "white-bread guy", you should know that the suspect in the kidnapping and murder of the 18 year old woman which began outside a Target store reportedly had a MySpace web page and his interests which include "eating small children and harming small animals."
But, hey, you are just joking when you talk, write or sing about rape. Maybe you are. But maybe the rapist laughing with you thinks you are an inspiration. Maybe he uses your words to counter the words of people like me who tell him that what he is doing is unacceptable.
Do you really want to be the wind beneath the rapist's wings?
Labels: Violence Against Women