Thursday, June 07, 2007

Understanding Where Behavior Comes From Equals Villification?

I was reading the comments on Reddit about my post Where did men learn that sexual predatory behavior is A-ok? including one comment which accused me of vilifying all men.

Actually the opposite is true. I was trying to communicate that it isn't biology which creates rape and sexual predators, it is a combination of influences and choice which creates rape and sexual predators. Even with messages which support sexual exploitation and rape under certain conditions (know your "asking for it" victim and don't use a knife or a gun) plenty of boys and men choose not to rape and they aren't interested in sexual contact which isn't completely mutual.

My rapist was no monster and his harmful actions didn't pop out of nowhere. He wasn't evil then and he isn't evil now. As long as we label rapists as born monsters who have nothing in common with good society and good men, we are powerless to create a truly safer environment. Maybe with different messages about what is acceptable and what is harmful, my boyfriend would have made different choices. Maybe he wouldn't have raped me.

Apparently, that makes me the poster woman for hating men.

The only power we have if we follow the world view of the man who criticized me for vilifying men is to tell girls and women that they must guard themselves every second of every day. That vilifies men more than I ever could.

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posted by Marcella Chester @ 4:50 PM   4 comments links to this post


At June 07, 2007 8:42 PM, Blogger Aerik said...

You think that’s bad? Try reading comments by the user "pn6"

At June 08, 2007 9:12 AM, Blogger Seeing Eye Chick said...

Do these guys Protest Too much? In a healthy dialogue things get heated, but I dont see that often. Most people on the net have a difficult time acquiring and properly using debate skills.

If they think you are bad, wait til they see what I have to say.

I am tired of the excuses. I was tired of them 20 years ago. I find it difficult to believe that any man can accept that a woman would "ask" to be assaulted. That is nothing more than an excuse, a flimsy justification for an act that is meant to dehumanize and disenfranchise a victim of sexual assault, male or female, adult or child.

So To them: Cut the crap already.

Because the only thing those sorts of exuses, and attacks impress upon me, is the profound ignorance that some promote as social standards.

Dont make me vomit!

Since 1 in 4 women suffere some kind of sexual molestation by the age of 18, why dont you boys ask your mother or your sister or your grandmother if SHE asked for it!

I am not a young woman anymore, I have been in the military and traveled the world. I have yet to befriend any woman in my adult life, that hasnt had a significant encounter to relate.

So deny it all you want boys. Talk that smack. I aint buying it. And better yet, I am teaching my girls *NOT to buy it either. From Infancy!

My question is:

What is really the issue here:

That you are openly expressing yourself over a taboo subject?

Or that you are an empowered woman?

Or for some, is it a guilty conscience?

At June 08, 2007 9:41 AM, Blogger Seeing Eye Chick said...

It occured to me that I wrote about the difference between a man and a boy in their approach of sex with a woman.

You can view it on htt://

Its the post called Porno-Chic. I am not vilifying men, or even males. I am vilifying behavior that exploits women {for sex}, and that includes rape.

At June 08, 2007 10:04 AM, Blogger Jeff Pack said...

Reddit loves misogyny. Like Aerik, I've been trying to post good articles on the subject that make people think, but it's hard to get through the boys' club attitudes there.


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