Saturday, July 28, 2007

The Abuse In Wrongfully Denying Victimhood

I don't know why different people are so quick to deny real rape and sexual abuse victims the label of real victim, but I do know that this denial is abusive.

Of course those who do this will deny it since they don't consider real victims to actually be real victims.

Sometimes this denial comes in a superior tone or manner where someone claims to be objective. Other times it comes in a caring tone where someone claims to be sympathetic. Other times it comes in an academic tone where someone claims to be more knowledgable. Other times it comes from a painful tone where someone claims to have been helped by letting go of victimhood.

No matter the tone or the claim, what the victim believes and what the victim experienced are less important than what the person doing the denying believes and what they experienced.

In many ways this mirrors what rapists and sexual abusers do. What their victim believed and wanted was less important than what the rapist or sexual abuser wanted. Because of this people who deny victims will often get called rape apologists or potential rapists.

Many who get this backlash use that backlash as an excuse to further undermine those they deny.

I've even seen someone decide that a self-identified rape survivor must be a liar because of that survivor's politics. That's not only abusive, it makes the person who made that statement look like a total jerk and a not very smart one at that.

If those who get a backlash after denying someone the label of victim would set their ego aside, they might realize that what they are doing is presumptious and wrong.

Then they might learn from their mistakes to everyone's benefit.

But denial is easier.

Hey, I'm almost to the halfway mark. Send money to Stop It Now! if you haven't already made a pledge and keep me going for the rest of the 24 hours. If you wish I'd shut up about this topic, remember that the more sex crimes which are prevented means that I'll have less to write about.

Help put childhood sexual abuse on the endangered species list.

Sponsor my participation in the blogathon to help raise money for the organization Stop It Now!Blogathon logo


Bookmark and Share
posted by Marcella Chester @ 7:30 PM   1 comments links to this post


At July 29, 2007 11:21 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was reading a book about the history of rape a few years ago and it sickened me to see how very little has changed since the middle ages. The things people said about rape and rape victims back in the middle ages is almost exactly the same as what people say today. It's pathetic.


Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home