Saturday, July 21, 2007

Mythology That Victims Decide To Enjoy Rape

On the website Answerology, I came across a man who is asking a question which reveals a dangerous assumption.

Q: Rape is a henious act. But, is there any girl who was about to be raped and in an instant decided to sit back and enjoy rather than cry over the issue. The point is. Do girls ever enjoy rape or feel any sensation or do they lose any sensation whatsoever if they are raped. Like in men, even if a man is forcefully fucked he would have physical pleasure if not mental.

This question is an important one to address because it exposes some seriously twisted thinking by rapists and by those who are at risk of committing rape and by those who excuse certain rapes.

For anyone who hears this theory from your friends. Run. Find new friends immediately. If you can't find new friends then it's better to be friendless. Seriously.

If you are getting this message from some form of media, throw that media out immediately. If a judge makes a ruling based on this theory, speak out against that judge. If a defense attorney uses this theory, don't believe the illusions no matter how slickly they are put forth.

You don't want to go there. This is rape minimization through the distortion of reality. If a rape victim does has some sort of sensation that doesn't reduce the trauma of this crime one bit. It doesn't reduce the seriousness of the crime. It doesn't turn a criminal act into a consensual act.

Same goes if the victim isn't fighting. That person has not decided to sit back and enjoy it. Depending on the situation, it might be shock or it might be incapacitation or it might be terror that one wrong move will cause the rapist to get even more violent or to become murderous.

To turn paralysis into sitting back and enjoying it is to be part of the problem.

This thought process greatly increases the likelihood that there should be rape charges made against those who use it in their sexual interactions. Sure, they will immediately claim they are being falsely accused because the "alleged rape victim" enjoyed it, but they will be wrong.

This question seeks to transform a real victim into a non-victim. This theory has nothing to do with the victim's pleasure, only the rapist's. It is a morally-corrupt fantasy.

Don't buy into it. Not even to the tiniest degree.

If those who put forth this theory also talk about knowing someone who was falsely labeled by someone who "cried rape" or who says they have been falsely accused or who rants about how girls and women lie about rape, run faster.

If you hear a confession of an attempted rape that turned into non-rape and which includes the rape victim's identity, call the police. If you get this sort of admission in a text message or instant message, turn it over to the police.

The sooner these people are stopped, the fewer rape victims they will leave in their wake and the fewer rape victims they will figuratively kick while they are down. If their rationalizations are stopped soon enough through losing friends or through losing a government position, some people may reconsider those rationalizations before committing rape.

Update: I received this anonymous comment on this post. It captures a dangerous way of thinking perfectly.

This post is useless. An objective question is asked fairly delicately, and the response is some hysterical ranting. The point is that sometimes the lines between consensual and non-consensual are blurred, and sometimes women do enjoy being dominated by a powerful man. To pretend that non-consensual, or borderline-consensual sex can't develop into consensual sex is oversimplifying things. As the questioner says, rape is a heinous act, but if you've any experience of the real human world, you know that the consensual/non-consensual binary is a modern social construction.

By a modern construction, I assume he means that before rape victims refuted this nonsense, many rapists could con others into believing that a rape could turn into a non-rape. They also had better luck conning people into believing that non-consensual sex could be caused by a man being so enthralled that he couldn't stop himself.

If that excuse for rape were true then men who rape are the least powerful of all men since non-rapists can and do stop themselves. Rapists are never authentically powerful. They use rape to help them gain the illusion of authentic power.

There is no such thing as borderline-consensual sex. This is just an attempt to repackage certain rapes and make them socially acceptable.

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posted by Marcella Chester @ 7:52 AM   3 comments links to this post


At July 21, 2007 3:22 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nice post. Obviously quite correct.

(Though the question that prompted it looked more like a question than an assumption, in spite of it lacking the appropriate punctuation. Sort of a quasi-reverse "How can men be raped (by women) against their will?" or something.)

There's just this one paragraph I wondered about:

If those who put forth this theory also talk about knowing someone who was falsely labeled by someone who "cried rape" or who says they have been falsely accused or who rants about how girls and women lie about rape, run faster.

Could you clear this up a bit? On the one hand, it makes perfectly sense in this context. On the other, it reads awfully universal!?

At July 21, 2007 6:56 PM, Blogger Marcella Chester said...

Anonymous, people who hold these general beliefs and who make claims about false reports of rape aren't safe to be around whether they are rapists or not. Their judgment isn't trustworthy.

These people also need to see that their views aren't accepted by everyone around them. If they lose friends, maybe they will rethink views which minimizes or denies rape.

At August 01, 2007 5:49 PM, Blogger said...

I've never come across any woman who said she "enjoyed being raped" or sexually assaulted. This is the stuff of sex stories and porn-- it is not reality.

What people need to keep in mind is the fact that male and female sexual responses are different. Male sexual response, enjoyment and completion is easier to achieve. Female sexual response, on the other hand, is an intricate process that relies on a specific balance of circumstances.

Recent studies have shown that true female sexual response and completion will disable the areas of the brain that control fear. In other words, when a woman is afraid, the likelihood that she will have any kind of sexual response is slim to none (and as this post pointed out, regardless of whether she has a sexual response, it does not lessen the crime).

People seem to forget how easy it is for sex to HURT. It is not a "given" that women will enjoy intercourse-- even in a healthy relationship without coercive sex, it can still hurt. Sex is also an extremely psychological experience for women, which means the emotional and psychological response during rape or sexual assault is going to be "fear" or "anger"-- not pleasure.

For men who are confused on this point, try to imagine someone forcing entry into your body. Try to imagine that you do not have the physical strength to thwart the advances, that you are powerless to prevent your own victimization. Allowing someone to enter your body is a vulnerable experience as is, made even more so when it is unwelcome, frightening, and humiliating.

Rape has nothing to do with 'physical enjoyment' for the victim. Rape is one thing, and one thing only: a physical, emotional and psychological violation that leaves the victim feeling shattered and used.


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