Saturday, July 28, 2007

The Power Of Surviving Rape

So many people tell rape survivors to "just get over it already" which tells me they don't have a clue about the range of trauma those who have been raped have experienced or what it truly means to survive rape. This in turn leads to apathy regarding those who commit all but the most horrific rapes. If a rape is non-traumatic then the rapist isn't a real or serious criminal.

For some rape survivors the trauma of a specific event isn't huge. This can happen when someone with a history of childhood sexual abuse is raped by a friend. That rape can feel like it is "par for the course" of life. This numbness helps that survivor cope with unrelenting violation, but the numbness doesn't nullify the wrongness of the rape.

The power of surviving rape comes in small and large doses. Sometimes the power of surviving rape comes in the anger at those who treat most rapes as a joke. Sometimes the power of surviving rape is just getting through another day as the memories pelt down like golf ball sized hail. Sometimes the power of surviving rape comes through suppressing the memories of rape so the survivor can function when they would otherwise be swamped like a rowboat in the ocean.

The power of surviving rape isn't in surviving perfectly. It is in surviving at all. The biggest question for those who haven't been raped is will you be someone who helps or will you be someone who blocks rape survivors or will you be someone who exploits what they've been through?

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posted by Marcella Chester @ 8:30 AM   2 comments links to this post


At July 28, 2007 8:40 AM, Blogger Abzdragon said...

"just get over it" I hate that. Thank you for mentioning what survivors have to go through with unsupportive friends. <3

At December 16, 2007 6:48 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thankyou just reading what you think has helped me a lot I know its not my fault and I dont have to be ok straight away as much as my friends and partner wnat me to be. Mine was particularly violent and I now cant have kids which I still havent come to terms with and just makes me so angry when I see others who have what I wanted so much. But it will be ok it will just take a while
Thankyou again


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