Saturday, July 28, 2007

Rape As Ego Fix

There is lots of debate about why people rape. Some say it's all about power and control. Some say rapists are just hornier than the rest of us. Some say men who rape hate women.

For some rapists, especially those who use coercion, the benefit of rape seems to have nothing to do with an intention to destroy their victims. Instead, their intention has to do with elevating themselves into some magical Pied Piper of sex.

So often people perceive rapists as sexually advanced when in many ways they are sexually stunted and incapable of a truly mutual and healthy sexual relationship. When someone is your equal they aren't going to worship you and may even tell you when you don't please them.

But if someone looks up to you with absolute trust, the ego -- if you have the thought patterns of a rapist -- can get a kick out of seeing what that trust can lead to. Any harm to the other person is rationalized away. This is often done by invoking "personal responsibility." This rationalization which puts the personal responsibility for rape on the victim is planted very carefully by the rapist.

The rapist may do more than just praise the target's looks, but may talk about how alluring the target is and how powerful that allure is. The words, "Too beautiful to resist" are dangerous words.

These rapists are deliberately conning themselves as they manipulate their victims into compliance or into silence. This manipulation often leaves victims feeling crazy when what is being done and said to them is what's really crazy.

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posted by Marcella Chester @ 2:00 PM   0 comments links to this post


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