... then we shouldn't blame the men or seek to have the law changed, please defend this case where 3 men dug up a young woman's grave with the intent to have sex with her body after seeing how attractive she was in her obituary picture.
The attempted sexual assault charges against them were dropped because Wisconsin has no law against necrophilia, but I doubt those who routinely excuse men's inexcusable behavior against live victims will excuse these men.
Like many men intent on sexual assault, there was something about the victim which attracted them specifically to her. This case demonstrates with absolute clarity that this targeting has nothing to do with the victim "asking for it."
Whenever anyone blames a victim for being attractive and vulnerable remember this case where the target was both. If you are going to blame the live victims, you must blame the dead ones as well.
If men cannot control themselves when they are turned on, then we can't judge these men any more harshly than we judge those who attempt to rape women who go out to the bars on a Saturday night.
If you demand that these 3 men be held personally responsible for their actions, then you must also demand it of all those who attempt to rape someone who is alive -- no matter what it was about that live victim which motivated the sexual assault attempt. Just as these 3 men made a choice, all those who attempt to rape live victims made a choice.
If you reject this then you believe in sexual zombies.
If some violating sexualized acts which are legal make you physically ill just thinking about them and other violating sexualized acts which are illegal and which have been shown to do serious harm to their victims don't make you physically ill (boyfriend raping his girlfriend) , the failure to understand the absolute violation against live victims is your problem.
This problem does not belong to rape victims who don't describe their actions and their trauma in a way that you accept as a "real rape."