Tuesday, August 14, 2007

For All Who Say If Men's Actions Don't Fit Sexual Assault Standard ..

... then we shouldn't blame the men or seek to have the law changed, please defend this case where 3 men dug up a young woman's grave with the intent to have sex with her body after seeing how attractive she was in her obituary picture.

The attempted sexual assault charges against them were dropped because Wisconsin has no law against necrophilia, but I doubt those who routinely excuse men's inexcusable behavior against live victims will excuse these men.

Like many men intent on sexual assault, there was something about the victim which attracted them specifically to her. This case demonstrates with absolute clarity that this targeting has nothing to do with the victim "asking for it."

Whenever anyone blames a victim for being attractive and vulnerable remember this case where the target was both. If you are going to blame the live victims, you must blame the dead ones as well.

If men cannot control themselves when they are turned on, then we can't judge these men any more harshly than we judge those who attempt to rape women who go out to the bars on a Saturday night.

If you demand that these 3 men be held personally responsible for their actions, then you must also demand it of all those who attempt to rape someone who is alive -- no matter what it was about that live victim which motivated the sexual assault attempt. Just as these 3 men made a choice, all those who attempt to rape live victims made a choice.

If you reject this then you believe in sexual zombies.

If some violating sexualized acts which are legal make you physically ill just thinking about them and other violating sexualized acts which are illegal and which have been shown to do serious harm to their victims don't make you physically ill (boyfriend raping his girlfriend) , the failure to understand the absolute violation against live victims is your problem.

This problem does not belong to rape victims who don't describe their actions and their trauma in a way that you accept as a "real rape."

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posted by Marcella Chester @ 9:18 AM   8 comments links to this post


At August 14, 2007 1:19 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm certain that in this bizarre example the victim was seriously harmed.

I do not defend anyone who commits the horrible crime of rape, but these people were legitimately horribly mentally sick.

If you think they believe in the same case as every rapist ever, then all rapists should be put into mental institutions and rehabilitated differently then other criminals.

At August 14, 2007 1:53 PM, Blogger Marcella Chester said...

Anonymous, I disagree about these men being mentally ill. They likely rationalized their actions as causing no harm just as other rapists rationalize away their actions. To them it was a victimless crime they wanted to commit.

It is our general reaction that truly sets these men apart from those who will give a girl enough alcohol to kill her and then have sex with her when she is so drunk she could die at any moment from alcohol poisoning.

If men who heard about friends using passed out girls reacted withe the revulsion people show for these men there would be far fewer of those types of rapes.

At August 14, 2007 3:05 PM, Anonymous Joshua Normal said...

Marcella, first I believe that most psychologists would disagree with you about the mental health of these three men and agree with anonymous above. The common definition of necrophilia is as follows, A mental disorder (Paraphilia Not Otherwise Specified) in which a person experiences recurrent, intense sexually arousing fantasies or sexual urges involving dead bodies and/or performs sexual behaviors with dead bodies.

Second, I believe more men than you seem to think do react with the same revulsion they feel for necrophilia to people who rape unconscious people.

Suggesting that men who dig up corpses for sex are the same as rapists and that "men" have no revulsion for someone who takes advantage of an unconscious person is unintentionally hurting your arguments of the importance of taking rape cases seriously.

At August 14, 2007 3:12 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

She was asking for it. Her parents should not have used an attractive picture in the paper. They are to blame as well.

At August 14, 2007 3:37 PM, Blogger Marcella Chester said...

Joshua, I've seen nothing about this case which shows me these men meet the standard where "a person experiences recurrent, intense sexually arousing fantasies or sexual urges involving dead bodies." You seem to be using that definition as a way to excuse these men from moral and legal responsibility for their actions.

Also if you reread my post you'll see that I made no generalities about men other than to hold all men who rape or who violate others -- dead or alive --personally responsible for their actions.

At August 14, 2007 4:06 PM, Anonymous Anne said...

One woman in my group therapy session talked about how she was told by other people (mainly men) that since she was unconscious when it happend to her that somehow makes it less traumatic and shouldn't be a big deal to her because she won't remember it. BTW, she isn't the only person I've heard that from. I'm in groups that have victims from all around the world and their experiences are the same. Pretty much 100% of them are blamed for their own rapes because they were drinking and no one cares if they were unconcious. On behalf of all of them I ask you where the revulsion is because we don't see it.

You should try one day to really listen to the men around you. I mean really listen to them when they talk about rape. They'll of course say rape is horrible, but they're really only refering to violent stranger rape and not the types of rape that are the most common. Otherwise there is little to no revulsion. And you'll come to see that Marcella is right - these men who dug up the corpse are exactly the same as other rapists.

At August 16, 2007 7:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You think that men who dug up a corpse with the intent of fucking it aren't insane? That makes me not only question your definition of sanity, but also whether you are sane yourself.

At August 16, 2007 8:54 PM, Blogger Marcella Chester said...

Anonymous, you seem to be confusing insanity (can't tell the difference between right and wrong) with sanity which finds a way to justify the unjustifiable.

From my perspective all rape is insane (unimaginable that someone sane would treat another human that way), but the sane do commit rape. And the sane do excuse many rapists while blaming the victims.


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