Sunday, August 12, 2007

Men Behaving Hatefully

I've noticed lately that most of the men (or boys) who leave hateful comments about me or those they identify as feminist frequently complain about how all the women they attack hate men. They seem to be assuming that the backlash they get is caused by their gender when in fact the backlash they get is caused by their hateful behavior.

When these types of hateful comments are left by women again they assume that the backlash they get is because they are "defending" men when in many cases they are protecting the violence committed by boys and men against girls and women.

These people do as much or more to conflate violence committed by boys and men with masculinity than the people they attack as man-haters. And of course they feel free to use generalities about women, that using their own logic, would qualify them as women haters.

When these people mention personal responsibility (the victim's personal responsibility, not the violent man's personal responsibility) they demonstrate laziness and sloppiness in their thinking.

Behaving hatefully is pathetically easy whether that is posting vile anonymous comments, bullying a girlfriend, or following the trend by some YouTube members of creating and uploading videos of drivers at fast-food restaurants throwing drinks at the employees.

You might feel powerful now, but it is the shallowest sort of power that gets you nothing real and nothing lasting. You may have seen others who seemed to get real power this way, but it's a corrosive power that eats away at those who hold it.

If you attack me and others because it feels good to vent your rage on someone then I suggest you figure out why you need to act like a human volcano.

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posted by Marcella Chester @ 8:27 AM   3 comments links to this post


At August 12, 2007 10:26 AM, Anonymous Anne said...

I've also noticed that they accuse anyone who doesn't praise the hell out of men of bashing them. A justified criticism stated in a civil manner is "bashing" because it's not "OMG! Menz are the best! Totally perfect in every way!" Then they go on to say the nastiest, disgusting, sexist, and sometimes violent or horrific things about women and that's somehow not bashing women. What twisted, hateful logic.

At August 12, 2007 4:59 PM, Blogger Sicily Sue said...

Amen. See my post for today...

The behavior needs to be looked at without consideration of the gender. But unfortunately for good men... there are many bad behaviors coming from that gender.

I run up against this when I get upset about men raping women. People always think I am a man hater. I don't hate men. I hate rape. So if you are a man who doesn't rape why are you offended?

And if men as a gender are angered by the association of rape with men... they maybe they should try to do something about it... why does the burden of ending sexual violence fall on the primary victim group? Women.

At August 12, 2007 10:23 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think they learn at an early age to shift the focus from the behavior of the perp to the feelings of those who object to the behavior. It is a favored technique when addressing a person who they do not feel has the authority to criticize the behavior of the menz. As we all know, in the mind of a man, no woman has the authority to question or criticize the menz, and if she does have the authority, clearly she doesn't deserve it. Blech.


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