Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Survivor Needs Meme

Shortly before Christmas I was tagged by Marj at Survivors Can Thrive for the "survivor needs" meme, but because of various distractions and commitments, I didn't have time to do the meme.

One of those distractions fits right in with this meme since it resulted in my search for a new place to live.

  1. I need to ensure my safety, both physical and emotional, to the best of my ability.
  2. I need to be treated with respect by all those who are allowed in my life.
  3. If I am not treated with respect by any of those who are allowed in my life, I need to communicate respectfully that a boundary has been crossed.
  4. If my request for respect is not honored or cannot be honored, then I need to change my life to maintain my physical and emotional well-being.
  5. I need to have compassion for myself and for others even when I or they do something wrong.
  6. I need to remember that compassion is not the same thing as tolerance of someone's behavior.
  7. I need to refuse requests for forgiveness if the requestor might be in an offend, forgive me, repeat pattern.
  8. I need friends who I can safely be vulnerable with.
  9. I need to be a friend who my friends can safely be vulnerable with.
  10. I need to handle conflict respectfully and clearly.
  11. When I fail to handle conflict respectfully, I need to learn from my mistakes.
  12. I need to remember that I can stand up for myself without putting anyone else down.
  13. I need to provide help to others but only when that help doesn't compromise who I am or my basic needs.
  14. I need to remember that self-care is important, from proper food to proper emotional safety.
  15. When my life is in chaos I need to remember that I have the right to leave the chaos.
  16. When my life is in chaos I need to remember that I have the power to leave or reduce the chaos.
  17. I need to remember that it is my life I am living when someone says, "If it were me, I would do ...."
  18. I need to do what is right for me even if it would be completely wrong for others.
  19. I need to be intolerant of disrespectful and demeaning behavior.
  20. I need to listen to my discomfort even if I can't put my finger on the source of that discomfort.
  21. I need to listen to warning signs even when I have been assured that there is no danger and that I am over-sensitive.
I have more needs than this, but this partial list is a great reminder for me when a person or situation goes against my needs.

  1. I want to reach out to more survivors in a positive way.
  2. I want more financial freedom.
  3. I want dark chocolate.
  4. I want good health for myself.
  5. I want 5 people to volunteer to be tagged because I don't want to decide who should be tagged.

Rules of the "Survivor Needs" Meme:

Please link back to this post so people can see the origins of the meme, get ideas for their own self-care list, see who's already been tagged, and maybe we can track how far this meme goes.

List 25 needs and five wants. Try to restrict your needs list to things that have to do with being a survivor of some sort of abuse, assault, etc. Your wants list can be want!

Use this list to remind yourself to get your needs met this holiday season and in the New Year.

Pass on the meme and tag five people to play the meme with you. (I get to tag a few extra folks because, well, I started the meme, okay?)
Please consider participating. The first 5 who comment, please consider yourself tagged.


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posted by Marcella Chester @ 4:10 PM   3 comments links to this post


At January 17, 2008 2:14 AM, Blogger Holly said...

I will be tagged....personally I am actually looking forward to doing the survivor needs.
I just need a few days to get it done. Take care Holly

At January 17, 2008 9:40 AM, Blogger Marj aka Thriver said...

Well, I can't be tagged because I'm the one who started this meme. But, I want to say thanks so much for playing, Marcella. And you're not "late" at all!

I can tell you put a lot of thought into this. This is just about the most self-empowering list I've seen. Great work!

And I'll look forward to seeing your list, Holly!

At February 08, 2008 1:43 AM, Blogger Patricia Singleton said...

Marj tagged me too. I wrote mine at . Thanks for sharing your list. I appreciate your work and your courage to deal with all of this.


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