Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Behind The Complaints About Male Bashing And Man Hating

This is the next in the series which began with Behind the complaint about victims not avoiding danger.

One of the first things I notice in those who claim I or others who are concerned about violence against women are male bashers is the patronizing tone in their complaint. Don't think you hate men simply because you hate violence which is mostly committed by men against women? Well, these people will inform you that you do indeed hate men.

If you don't realize this then you are completely out of touch with reality.

If you called them on their words or their behavior the only possible explanation for your calling them out is that you hate men. After all, they are squarely in the right in their attitudes about women and their attitudes about violence against women. So when you challenge what they "know" is absolutely right, it must be you who is stupid or hateful.

Noteably men who seek out women to rape or to harass or to insult are not women bashers and are not women haters. It doesn't matter if they read their own words with the genders reversed that they would see that as proof of man hating.

Women's opposition to rape supportive attitudes and legal rulings gets spun into mental instability. Being vocally anti-rape indicates that the woman is in desperate need of therapy since she has unresolved issues. Apparently all mentally stable women are fine with men who blame most rape victims and are fine with non-stranger serial rapists getting away with rape since only random stranger rape is beyond the victim's control.

Women who say there is no excuse for rape and that nothing a woman does is like wearing a "rape me" sign are refusing to hold women personally accountable and they want the men they hate to coddle women. If these women also want equality then they are illogical because they want mutually exclusive actions from men.

But what is this coddling that women who hate men want? Not to be raped. Not to be abused.

Women in short skirts who aren't raped by the men around them are being coddled and if they like this lack of rape then they are willingly giving up their equality.

Wanting to reduce the rate of violence against women is repackaged into wanting special treatment so women don't have to protect themselves by following the advice of patronizing men.

I guess banks that want the police and the public to help reduce the number of armed robberies and want help catching bank robbers want special treatment so they don't have to protect themselves. Why should banks get special treatment? Haven't they heard of personal and corporate responsibility?

This typical attitude used against women makes no sense when applied to banks. If banks had to follow the type of crime prevention advice given to women, there would be bullet-proof glass in all banks separating bank employees from the public. Any bank where a customer could shoot an employee is "asking" for it and should be held personally responsible if that bank is robbed.

Rapists are often described by these people as men getting their sexual needs met yet these men would never describe bank robbers as people getting their financial needs met. My viewing rapists as people who choose to be violent rather than people seeking to get their sexual needs met falls flat with these people.

It's harder to make excuses for the violent than it is to make excuses for the needy. The victim-blaming advice is predicated on the acceptance that rape comes from a man's base needs or instincts -- which he has little or no control over -- rather than coming from the rapist's thinking and disregard for others.

Men are turned by these people into creatures as dangerous as the lion in the zoo. Rapists get treated as a distinct biological subgroup of men. The untamed male. Walk too close and you'll be dinner with no criminal intent by the rapist.

Like I've said before, the major flaw in this argument is that this approach supports lifetime sentences for all rapists since their crime is beyond their control. Like the lion in the zoo the only solution is lifetime containment.

Yet those who accuse women of being man haters demand that women be the ones who are contained in the name of rape prevention and gender equality. Doesn't sound like they support equality except when it benefits them.

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posted by Marcella Chester @ 10:59 AM   1 comments links to this post


At February 20, 2008 4:44 PM, Anonymous JadeWolf said...

Really well stated. I've been befuddled when men respond to "stop rape!" with "you hate men!" It seems the only way to understand their logic is to totally give up on logic.


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