From Today Show: Inside the mind of a serial seducer we get Paul Janka's own words about what he is about when it comes to women and sex.
[...] let me say I have a dual aim when I spend time with a woman: to have fun and to maintain my integrity as a man. Maintaining my integrity means honoring what I want in the process and not being manipulated by a woman’s agenda. This has to be an active process because I’ve found that women in the City – consciously or not – operate by a societal script that doesn’t incorporate my interests as a man.
What he calls integrity is in reality selfish resolve and a disregard for women's integrity. He isn't going to let what women want -- or don't want -- interfere with his selfish goals.
From Janka's failed book proposal:
"Tell the bartender how it is— she works for you for the two hours or so you'll be there. I tell them I don't drink but that I am meeting a lady, and that I don't want her to feel uncomfortable so could they please bring me seltzer waters, in a high-ball glass, with a lime. And call it a Tom Collins. Or a Gin and Tonic if you prefer. Never leave your drink, and don't let the girl sip it— she will freak out, I guarantee you. If you go to the bathroom, take it with you. When done, take both her glass and yours to the bar and give them to the bartender. Also, I find that drinking 2 or 3 seltzers on top of the meal I ate an hour before (solo or with a buddy) can be a challenge; I usually tell the bartender to make mine almost entirely ice; hers, little ice and stiff."
This strategy of deception is why those who accuse women of being liars when they report having only 1 or 2 drinks before passing out are not credible in their accusations.
Apparently serving yourself non-alcoholic drinks while serving your date stiff alcoholic drinks without her knowledge of what you are doing are the acts of a man with integrity.
Those who try to keep women safe by doing nothing more than lecturing women are reinforcing Janka's belief that he is doing nothing unethical and that all the responsibility for his actions belongs to the women he targets.
With his self-professed attitude and strategy it's no surprise that a woman reports she had to fight him off her to stop unwanted sexual contact after she told him that she didn't like him.
Here's her description of his actions followed by his response via Gawker:
He told me that we should either have sex or I should leave. I said I would leave. I started to stand up and he pulled me backwards and pinned me against the couch. I tried to push him off me, but couldn't. He started touching my breasts and between my legs. I told him to let me go as I tried to deflect his hands. After a few minutes he let me up. I gathered my things. As I was putting on my shoes he came over and grabbed my face, he squeezed until it hurt and I couldn't move my head. The[n] he shoved his tongue in my mouth. I pushed him off, went to the door, and was trying to unlock it when he came up behind me and wrapped one arm around my arms, making them immobile, and shoved the opposite hand down my pants. He tried to fucking finger me (unsuccessfully, I fought like a dog). I told him to stop. I struggled to get free. His only response was, "You're turned on, aren't you." He wouldn't let go. I managed to grab an umbrella propped against the wall next to me. I hit him and he backed off. I rushed out the door and I heard him laugh a little and call "bye" after me. [...]
"I'd say going on a date under false pretenses is pretty underhanded, wouldn't you? I'm not interested in disputing her account, tit-for-tat. Suffice it to say she's spun it to serve her interests."
This is an admission that he took the actions he is accused of taking, but he views his actions as justified. He claims to be able to understand women, but he clearly doesn't care enough to understand the woman he is with beyond plotting how to manipulate her.
This is more than selfishness on his part, it means that he doesn't know anything about having a sexual relationship and doesn't want to learn since doing so would compromise his integrity as a man. This disconnect may on the surface seem to be limited to women and sex, but I believe that this type of view about what it means to have integrity can't help but impact all aspects of his life.
If women who trust him are to blame if he crosses the line into criminal behavior then men who trust him or men like him are also to blame if they become victims of non-sex crimes committed by men like him and should be treated with the same respect given to those who report sexual assaults.
Labels: Violence Against Women