Sunday, April 12, 2009

Thanks for over 200,000 visits

While looking at my blog traffic stats, I noticed that Abyss2hope crossed the 200,000 visit threshold sometime in the last few days. When I think about this number I am reminded of each of my fellow rape survivors who I've connected to in some way through this blog or the blogosphere. The courage I have seen while my fellow survivors have dealt with disrespect and disbelief leaves me in awe.

When I look at this number I'm also reminded of higher numbers I've blogged about:

Quarter million rapes estimated in the Congo during last 4 years from Nov. 2006.

Can A Crime That Happens 248,300 Times A Year In The US Really Be Rare? from Dec. 2008.

These numbers could leave me depressed if I only thought about the actions of those who find ways to justify their own individual violence and those who find ways to justify or deny the violence of others.

But I know for certain that I'm far from being alone in my "radical" opposition to all forms of sexual violence, in my "radical" opposition to all excuses for why certain rapists are not "real" rapists and in my "radical" opposition to those who slander or dismiss those who have been sexually assaulted.

The big lie which the rape apologists wish for us to believe is that there is nothing we can do ethically to dramatically reduce the number of sexual assaults.

This lie depends on:
  1. The false claim that the only way for rape victims to have any reasonable chance to get justice after reporting is for innocent men to be punished for rapes they never committed.

  2. The false claim that rape prevention efforts aimed at changing the behavior and attitudes of potential rapists is anti-male.

The truth is that competence and thoroughness of investigations and prosecutions benefit all who are innocent. Competence and thoroughness would discourage many would-be rapists who want to think of themselves as non-rapists. This would also discourage many would-be fraudulent accusers.

Sloppiness and ethical breaches benefits the guilty.

If this claim about reasonable conviction rates were true then the only way for those who have been victims of attempted murder to have any reasonable chance to get justice would be for innocent people to be punished for crimes they never committed. The denialists will claim that the difference is physical evidence, but in rape cases serious injuries or even death are often dismissed by defense attorneys as nothing more than evidence of rough sex.

Being suckered by a lie is not the same thing as having reasonable doubt. The best way for people to avoid being suckered by the lies of rapists and their defenders is for the general population to have a better understanding of the issues which are needed to prevent people from rationalizing rape.

The truth is that effective prevention efforts teach people -- children and adults -- about appropriate sexual boundaries. I believe that many rapists would not be able to rationalize rape if they had been taught about their responsibility to ensure that they have freely given consent prior to taking action and if they had been taught that no behavior they see justifies or cancels out the reality of rape.

The number of rapes would drop if everyone understood that nobody has a legal obligation to clearly communicate lack of consent to prevent unwanted sexual contact or actions.

This basic education would help boys and men ensure that they have not been misled by someone who will not face criminal charges for their dangerous advice related to consent.

This rape prevention education needs to be integrated into all sex education programs to prevent future violence but also to help children understand that any sexual violence or sexual abuse they have experienced is not sex.

The belief in any part of these lies related to the reduction of rape is what prevents positive change. When the task of preventing rape seems impossible that results in many people never trying to get the task done. Yet preventing rape is not impossible.

The reason rape prevention is not impossible is because rape is not caused by biology or by sexual desire, it is caused by how people -- rapists and non-rapists -- think about the ethics of sexual contact and the actions which follow those thoughts.
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posted by Marcella Chester @ 12:02 PM   3 comments links to this post

3 Comments:

At April 13, 2009 8:04 PM, Blogger Rj said...

This is excellent

This rape prevention education needs to be integrated into all sex education programs to prevent future violence but also to help children understand that any sexual violence or sexual abuse they have experienced is not sex.We need rape re-education, which can only begin with comprehensive sexual education.

 
At April 14, 2009 10:17 AM, Blogger Marj aka Thriver said...

Congrats on your milestone. Just checking in to see how you're doing now that you're back from WAM. Have anything suitable for THE BLOG CARNIVAL AGAINST CHILD ABUSE? We've got a deadline tomorrow. Thanks for looking in your coffers.

 
At April 17, 2009 12:08 AM, Anonymous m Andrea said...

The number of rapes would drop if everyone understood that nobody has a legal obligation to clearly communicate lack of consent to prevent unwanted sexual contact or actions.wow. blew me away, it did. But so very true. People are under no obligation to tell a robber they don't want to be robbed. Whenever one is given a gift, that it is a gift is clearly established at the outset. Otherwise, you're just taking it without their consent.

Seriously, that was fabulous Marcella.

 

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