In the comments of the YouTube video she's been called a Nazi which equates her with the perpetrators of the holocaust and those who practiced systematic genocide. And her war crime? Demanding that men stop being sexual violent and that other men start being active in sexual violence prevention.
It is telling when a man makes it clear that he willfully refuses to be part of the solution in preventing rape in even the slightest way, including rebuking men for their violence, while he is clearly invested in rebuking all women who challenge men in our society to step up and become part of the solution when it comes to men's violence against women. That man has made his values and his priorities clear.
There are times when it is appropriate to approach men in a non-challenging way, but any demand that all words from all women directed at men related to men's violence against women need to always be non-challenging forgets that sometimes it takes challenging words to shake people out of their complacency.
Those who say that non-challenging and non-angry is the way to go at all times need to live up to their own standards. If they don't live up to their demands for others then their demands have nothing to do with tone and everything to do with their core position on the issues. Tone is just an easy and dishonest excuse.
One of those truths not mentioned specifically in the video is that sexual violence is a civil rights issue. The solution to racial civil rights was not to lecture people, like Rosa Parks, that they would have been fine if they just moved to the back of the bus and never did anything which could be used as justification for racial injustice or race-based violence. Yet this is the only type of solution some people, men and women, will support when it comes to gender-based violence.
Urdang mentions that she doesn't wish the wake up call for men to be when a girl or woman they love is raped. This possibility is one that many men assume can never become a reality. Some men think the victim-blaming advice they give to the girls and women they care about is guaranteed rape prevention.
For men who have expressed their disdain for Urdang and other women who speak up against rape around girls and women they love, those girls and women they love may have been taught by their own words and actions that this man who loves them is not someone who will believe them or support them post-rape.
And that makes rapists very happy.
Labels: Violence Against Women