Sorry, domestic violence is not gendered. A look into daily life shows this reality - women are at least, if not more, violent toward the opposite sex. Out of me three long-term relationships I have been struck several times by two of them - never have I struck them. And they have laughed it off.I responded to this comment with 3 comments (combined below with hyperlinks added):
Abyss, you can engage men much more easily if you stop with the "patriarchy is the sole/primary cause of all domestic violence" mantra...it's very off-putting, and many people can see right through it. Traditional male roles are provide/protect - not "batter" - and most men are not batterers.
But if you continue with the rhetoric of "rape culture" and "violence against women culture," men will - at best - shrug it off, and at worst bristle up, take offense, and argue back - as anyone would at a misguided attempt to denigrate their entire sex.
More pragmatically - in terms of your own interests - look at it this way: by telling people that their sexuality (masculinity) is constructed around evil (which is simply not true), you basically do a good job as a recruiter for the Men's Movement.
The scientific research doesn't agree with your limited example. Many women have never struck a man except in self-defense and could give examples of men's ongoing domestic violence (not just being struck several times) which are far more severe, rape for example, than your evidence of women's domestic violence.
You would not accept their more extreme experiences being harmed as proof of anything more general about men's violence yet your personal experience is supposed to be proof about women's violence as a whole and about men's lack of violence as a whole.
The intimate partner murder rates are provably gendered with men much more likely to be the murderer than the murdered yet you wipe those murders away with your flip response.
I've never said or written the quote you assign to me. I've never said that most men are batterers. I've never denigrated an entire sex. Those are your projections. This means you arrived alienated and don't let the reality of what I write interfere with what you claim I write.
As for the traditional male role being provide/protect and not batter, risk factors disagree that this is a protective factor for sexual or domestic violence.
You disprove that you fit within the provide/protect category when you let my rhetoric (much of which I've never said but hey why let a few facts interfere) prevent you from protecting women from domestic and sexual violence.
You make it clear you have no interest in my interests. That's honest, but my interests are to stop sexual and domestic violence.
I've never told anyone that their sexuality is constructed around evil. This is a falsehood you are promoting as if it were fact to recruit others to be MRAs.
Also your limited description of your relationships with women is vague enough that it doesn't prove that you've never been abusive to women. Abuse can show itself in many actions other than striking a woman.
You also don't give the context of those strikes to prove that they were not done in self-defense.
This matters because you presented your experiences as evidence of the gendered nature of abuse.
Gogonostop, I've been thinking about your accusation that I'm, "telling people that their sexuality (masculinity) is constructed around evil (which is simply not true), you basically do a good job as a recruiter for the Men's Movement."
The only way for men to interpret what I actually write on this blog in this way is if their formed sexuality incorporates a disregard for girls and women and their basic human rights so that these men's view of male sexuality embraces some level of sexual violence.
When I speak out against sexual violence which many people deny or minimize I am therefore speaking out against their formed (or deformed) definition of male sexuality.
Their mistake is in claiming that this subset of formed male sexuality comes from biology.
As an addendum to my comments it's interesting that Gogonostop cites provide/protect as a value when so many MRAs actively oppose protections for women and children from violent men.
Labels: Violence Against Women